One of my favorite places to be is the beach. When I was younger we would work in tobacco with my grandparents and our payment was a trip to the beach at the end of the season. This typically meant that we went in August and would stay Thursday through Sunday. We would play in the pool and the ocean and really enjoy the beach. As I grew older I began realizing that the beach is where I can truly relax and breathe.
When I got engaged my first thought was a beach wedding. I doubted that choice a few times, but we both knew that a beach wedding was my dream wedding. We got married on a cold, rainy, October day, so our plans were changed some. Instead of the beach wedding we had a beach house wedding and beach pictures the next day. The end result was amazing of course because it was our wedding day. Growing up we would go to Myrtle Beach, SC but once we became engaged we started going to the North Carolina coast. It is more relaxed, more family oriented, and laid back. Yes, you may have to drive a while if you want the hustle and bustle of entertainment, but my family around me is enough.
Emma is our water girl. She loves the water, and loves the beach! She will walk picking up shells, jump in the waves, and end up falling asleep listening to the waves. This past beach trip was in August, and we went to Oak Island, NC (the same house we were married at). One day walking on the beach collecting shells I stumbled upon a perfect brown and white shell. It was beautiful colors, perfect shape, and I was shocked as I picked the shell up. The shell just crumbled in my hand. The sand around it was covering all of the imperfections, but once I took it out of that "comfort zone" it crumbled.
How many times do we do that? People see us with our hair fixed, make-up on, smile on our face, and dressed to impress. However, once you take all of that away we crumble. I grew up with a smile on my face, so very few knew about the verbally abusive home I was growing up in. Even a few years ago I would smile and act like everything was perfect when in fact I was crumbling inside at the thought of not having a child due to infertility. Just a few months ago I would wear a smile so people wouldn't see me crumble during my last days at my job because I knew I was leaving my comfort zone. During all of these times there were only the very close people who knew me outside of that "comfort zone" and knew I was worried, afraid, and hesitate about what the future holds. I would try to cover it with a smile, a joke, or just avoid the topic. Do not get me wrong I know God has a plan for me, I know He is working for me, and I know He is preparing an amazing opportunity for me. However, I do not know the plan yet and I will admit that is scary at times.
Do you find yourself feeling like the seashell? Who pulls you from the sand so you are able to crumble and share your feelings with them? How often do you hide behind the smile, the make-up, the job, the mask of what is really going on? Do you hide the same way from God that you hide from everyone else? Do you do that in hopes of people not realizing you are broken?
Joshua 1:9 ""Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."
Always remember that God is working for you. Without a test you wouldn't have a testimony, and we all have a testimony for what God has brought us through. I encourage you not to be like the shell and put forth a front that you are perfect. Be true to yourself and your feelings!
No comments:
Post a Comment