Today I was taken back in time to October 2014.
I had received a text from my best friend that her mom wasn't doing well. I told her I would be there after church. After church Emma, my mom, and myself stopped by the hospital. We visited for a few minutes then I need to get Em to lunch, so we left to meet Steve. While eating I asked Steve to take care of other stuff because I felt the need to get back to the hospital.
I went back to the hospital was able to get some laughs in with my friend and her family. I hope I was able to distract my friend's mind for a few minutes during that time Then I was taken back in time. Back to a different hospital, a different surrounding of family, but oh so similar in so many ways. Realizing that you have to say goodbye, realizing life was forever changing, and realizing you would never be the same person again. I watched as my friend went to say her last goodbye and my heart broke. I know that feeling, I know that moment of what do I do, and I know the feelings that follow. Here was a major difference it was her mom. As a female we all know how we are over our moms, and here she was having to say goodbye.
She lost her mother, and her life has now forever changed. There were many tears shed today, and there will be more shed in the future. The future for my friend has changed forever, and for that my heart breaks. I can lend an ear, a shoulder to cry on, and shed my own tears for her, but I can never change what happened today.
Her dad broke my heart when he said "those were the hardest words I have ever had to day". Can you imagine saying goodbye to your spouse, mother of your two daughters, and being completely lost without her? Life proves that we will all have to say goodbyes that are hard, but we also know that because of God's love we can see our loved ones again.
Maybe it isn't goodbye, but a see you later?
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Friday, November 6, 2015
Things I am thankful for...
I just wanted to show you some of the things I have already been thankful for this month.
My husband who is my best friend. The past year hasn't been the best year for us because of a lot of changes, but he stayed constant. He was my rock, my friend, and telling me not to worry about it because everything would work out.
The beach is my calming place. I stand in awe of God's creations. To tell the waves where to stop so they don't flood the earth. The birds, sand, and my favorite sea turtles.
My family. We may not always agree but we still love each other.
That God sent me this wonderful man to share my life with.
Monday, November 2, 2015
Month of being Thankful
November is here and that means the busy holiday season is just round the corner. We often get caught up in the rat race and don't take time to truly thank God. I started a few years ago taking time each day to think of what I am thankful for. Sadly I often forget to do this the rest of the year, but try to do it daily for November. We should be thankful every day for all of the blessing bestowed on us, not just during prayer on Thanksgiving Day.
What are you thankful for today? I will be honest the first few days are very easy for me because they include my Savior Jesus Christ, my family, friends, spouse, child, and all of the everyday people in my life. Towards the end of the month it gets a little harder.
So lets start this together! I will do a post each day with something I am thankful for, and you can comment what you are thankful for.
I started this yesterday in which I was thankful for my Savior Jesus Christ who never turns his back on me regardless of what I do. He is full of mercy, grace, and love that we can't find anywhere else. I have walked away from him, and came back knowing he was there waiting for me. He never turns from me, even when I upset him.
Today I am thankful for the rainy day. The rain waters the plants, foods, and animals; however, it also typically leads to an evening of cuddles and book reading for us. I used to love rainy days when I was in school because I would always have soup and grilled cheese to eat that day. Even then the rain was a sign to slow down and enjoy things. If it is pretty we are typically outside, running errands, or on the go. However, when it rains everyone talks about going home, cuddling up with a blanket and a book. For me I love to hear the rain, especially thunderstorms, and cuddle up with Emma watch a video or read a book and enjoy my evening with her.
What are you thankful for today?
What are you thankful for today? I will be honest the first few days are very easy for me because they include my Savior Jesus Christ, my family, friends, spouse, child, and all of the everyday people in my life. Towards the end of the month it gets a little harder.
So lets start this together! I will do a post each day with something I am thankful for, and you can comment what you are thankful for.
I started this yesterday in which I was thankful for my Savior Jesus Christ who never turns his back on me regardless of what I do. He is full of mercy, grace, and love that we can't find anywhere else. I have walked away from him, and came back knowing he was there waiting for me. He never turns from me, even when I upset him.
Today I am thankful for the rainy day. The rain waters the plants, foods, and animals; however, it also typically leads to an evening of cuddles and book reading for us. I used to love rainy days when I was in school because I would always have soup and grilled cheese to eat that day. Even then the rain was a sign to slow down and enjoy things. If it is pretty we are typically outside, running errands, or on the go. However, when it rains everyone talks about going home, cuddling up with a blanket and a book. For me I love to hear the rain, especially thunderstorms, and cuddle up with Emma watch a video or read a book and enjoy my evening with her.
What are you thankful for today?
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
How do you...
Handle a chilly, rainy day?
Do you sulk all day and tell everyone how miserable it is or do you take time to think about how things would be if it didn't rain? I grew up loving rain, from smelling it before it started raining to hearing it hit the tin roof. Of course there are days you may not want it to rain, but what if it never rained again?
Handle disappointment?
Do you begin going into your shell so others can't hurt you? As humans we will deal with disappointments in humans, but never in God. If we put all of our trust and faith in human then you will begin shutting everyone out because it is a dangerous way to live. However, with placing your faith, value, and hope in God all opportunities open up.
Talk to God?
Do you only talk to God when you want or need something, or do you praise the blessings already bestowed on you? We often get caught up when we are on top of the world and forget who those blessings have come from. However, as soon as one small thing happens we are quick to turn to God asking why this was allowed to happen. Maybe this happened so you would talk to God, maybe He missed you.
Talk about God?
Do you let the light of God's love shine through you or is God even seen through your talk? You aren't showing God's love if you are degrading, judging, criticizing, etc. Do not get me wrong if something is done against God's word you should speak of God's word, but you do that in love not anger. We should ask God to allow Himself to be shown through us - our words and actions.
Handle tests of faith?
Do you run to God or away from God? If there is a test of faith do you dig in deeper with God, or wait for the world to fix your problems? Often we wait for the problem to work itself out, but never turn to God who already knows the outcome. We have to trust that God does have a plan for us, and it is for the best for us.
As you can see any situation can be taken different ways. You can choose to let it direct you one way, or you can choose to respond a particular way. Here is the key - YOU. You get to choose, you get to decide your response, and no one else can choose it for you. While someone may upset you, it is still YOUR choice how you respond not theirs. As we tell our children, make good choices, and choose wisely.
Do you sulk all day and tell everyone how miserable it is or do you take time to think about how things would be if it didn't rain? I grew up loving rain, from smelling it before it started raining to hearing it hit the tin roof. Of course there are days you may not want it to rain, but what if it never rained again?
Handle disappointment?
Do you begin going into your shell so others can't hurt you? As humans we will deal with disappointments in humans, but never in God. If we put all of our trust and faith in human then you will begin shutting everyone out because it is a dangerous way to live. However, with placing your faith, value, and hope in God all opportunities open up.
Talk to God?
Do you only talk to God when you want or need something, or do you praise the blessings already bestowed on you? We often get caught up when we are on top of the world and forget who those blessings have come from. However, as soon as one small thing happens we are quick to turn to God asking why this was allowed to happen. Maybe this happened so you would talk to God, maybe He missed you.
Talk about God?
Do you let the light of God's love shine through you or is God even seen through your talk? You aren't showing God's love if you are degrading, judging, criticizing, etc. Do not get me wrong if something is done against God's word you should speak of God's word, but you do that in love not anger. We should ask God to allow Himself to be shown through us - our words and actions.
Handle tests of faith?
Do you run to God or away from God? If there is a test of faith do you dig in deeper with God, or wait for the world to fix your problems? Often we wait for the problem to work itself out, but never turn to God who already knows the outcome. We have to trust that God does have a plan for us, and it is for the best for us.
As you can see any situation can be taken different ways. You can choose to let it direct you one way, or you can choose to respond a particular way. Here is the key - YOU. You get to choose, you get to decide your response, and no one else can choose it for you. While someone may upset you, it is still YOUR choice how you respond not theirs. As we tell our children, make good choices, and choose wisely.
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes...
Yes, that was a song by Ace of Base several years ago.
As we go through life we often have signs to guide us. Everyday we see stop signs, directional signs, and road signs. We become immune to them because we see them so often. However, do you ever stop in your tracks because of a sign? Granted you should stop at a stop sign, but I am talking about signs to direct your life. Maybe it relates to your job, your family, and the most important ones typically relate to your faith.
I love when a sign pops up and grabs my attention. You may be thinking that it has never happened to you, but I bet it has even if it hasn't caught your attention. Have you ever been driving down the road and looked at the sunset? Have you ever looked up at night to see the stars? I enjoy looking at the wonderful works that God does. Emma will get out of the truck when we get home at night, look up to the sky, and all she says is "Wow". The wonder in her eyes tells me that seeing the stars is a sign for her. A sign of God, something bigger than herself, and something that takes your breath away. I have the same experience standing at the ocean. God directs the waves, controls how far the waves go, and has sand dunes as barriers.
Other times I sense signs from others. My amazing, beautiful, inspirational friend Gail who we lost to cancer loved flamingos. When I started my new job last week, I was looking through the desk which had been cleaned out and stopped in my tracks. There in the drawer was a postcard with different colored flamingo on it. A couple of days later, I was asked to work on a project for work and when I pulled out the example to go by the following quote was on it "We are, each of us, angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by embracing one another" Luciano de Crescenzo. Another sign - this same quote was put on a picture of me and Gail when she passed away. I knew coming into this job, that my heart was in it and now I see it as signs of I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
The signs that I love to see the most are the signs that my faith is growing. I find myself in conversation being able to quote scripture, or being able to relate a situation to scripture. In the past two years this is something that I have noticed, and each time I thank God that He gave me the words for that situation. I cannot sit here and tell you everything in the Bible, but that is something I am working on.
I encourage you to take the time to look for signs, look for God's wonderful works around you, and then thank Him for those. There is always a silver lining, sometimes you just have to look for it. You may wonder how the Ace of Base song ties in but the last part of the song is:
I challenge you to look for those signs today, and let God open your eyes.
As we go through life we often have signs to guide us. Everyday we see stop signs, directional signs, and road signs. We become immune to them because we see them so often. However, do you ever stop in your tracks because of a sign? Granted you should stop at a stop sign, but I am talking about signs to direct your life. Maybe it relates to your job, your family, and the most important ones typically relate to your faith.
I love when a sign pops up and grabs my attention. You may be thinking that it has never happened to you, but I bet it has even if it hasn't caught your attention. Have you ever been driving down the road and looked at the sunset? Have you ever looked up at night to see the stars? I enjoy looking at the wonderful works that God does. Emma will get out of the truck when we get home at night, look up to the sky, and all she says is "Wow". The wonder in her eyes tells me that seeing the stars is a sign for her. A sign of God, something bigger than herself, and something that takes your breath away. I have the same experience standing at the ocean. God directs the waves, controls how far the waves go, and has sand dunes as barriers.
Other times I sense signs from others. My amazing, beautiful, inspirational friend Gail who we lost to cancer loved flamingos. When I started my new job last week, I was looking through the desk which had been cleaned out and stopped in my tracks. There in the drawer was a postcard with different colored flamingo on it. A couple of days later, I was asked to work on a project for work and when I pulled out the example to go by the following quote was on it "We are, each of us, angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by embracing one another" Luciano de Crescenzo. Another sign - this same quote was put on a picture of me and Gail when she passed away. I knew coming into this job, that my heart was in it and now I see it as signs of I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
The signs that I love to see the most are the signs that my faith is growing. I find myself in conversation being able to quote scripture, or being able to relate a situation to scripture. In the past two years this is something that I have noticed, and each time I thank God that He gave me the words for that situation. I cannot sit here and tell you everything in the Bible, but that is something I am working on.
I encourage you to take the time to look for signs, look for God's wonderful works around you, and then thank Him for those. There is always a silver lining, sometimes you just have to look for it. You may wonder how the Ace of Base song ties in but the last part of the song is:
I saw the sign
And it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign
I challenge you to look for those signs today, and let God open your eyes.
Monday, October 19, 2015
Steps of Faith
It has been way too long since I wrote on this blog, but I have been busy taking steps of faith. I was offered a job in July, and accepted. This was a step of faith as I was going out of my comfort zone. I would be doing something completely new, different, town, different office, and different schedule of life. The nerves kicked in, but I knew I had to do something as the stress of not having a job was closing in on me. At the same time I knew this position was a test of me stepping out on faith, trusting that God would completely take care of me.
The job ended up being a very trying time, and I knew it was becoming a mere stepping stone for me. I was learning new things and stepping out on faith, but I knew there was another plan coming. I was then contacted about a different position that while it was another pay cut, it was something my heart is in. I decided to accept that position while again taking that step of faith.
You may be reading this and thinking how could I keep taking those steps. That was the easy part I knew God was guiding my steps, I knew God was working on a plan for me, and most of all I knew the steps were leading me to where I need to be.
Then came the test - the phone call that could have been a job with more money, but not a job that was a good fit for me at this point in my life. I prayed, questioned myself, prayed, and ultimately decided I had to follow my heart to where I thought I was led to go. I started the new position and love it. I go home feeling like myself again, and still trust that God will take care of the rest.
Matthews 6:26 tells us "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" How can I believe that God provided for the birds, but will not provide for me? Why am I less to Him than the birds? If you read on in Matthew 10:31 "So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows".
How important am I to God? My initial thought is how far would I go to provide for my child, then wouldn't God go that far for His child as well? Yes, He sent His son to die for me. He took away all of my sin. He created me, and has a plan for my life.
The job ended up being a very trying time, and I knew it was becoming a mere stepping stone for me. I was learning new things and stepping out on faith, but I knew there was another plan coming. I was then contacted about a different position that while it was another pay cut, it was something my heart is in. I decided to accept that position while again taking that step of faith.
You may be reading this and thinking how could I keep taking those steps. That was the easy part I knew God was guiding my steps, I knew God was working on a plan for me, and most of all I knew the steps were leading me to where I need to be.
Then came the test - the phone call that could have been a job with more money, but not a job that was a good fit for me at this point in my life. I prayed, questioned myself, prayed, and ultimately decided I had to follow my heart to where I thought I was led to go. I started the new position and love it. I go home feeling like myself again, and still trust that God will take care of the rest.
Matthews 6:26 tells us "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" How can I believe that God provided for the birds, but will not provide for me? Why am I less to Him than the birds? If you read on in Matthew 10:31 "So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows".
How important am I to God? My initial thought is how far would I go to provide for my child, then wouldn't God go that far for His child as well? Yes, He sent His son to die for me. He took away all of my sin. He created me, and has a plan for my life.
If you think about steps of faith do you try to question their size? Was that a huge leap of faith or s small step. Next time you are thinking about that look at it this way. It isn't the size of the step that matters - it is the size of your faith. If my faith wasn't the size that it is I wouldn't have trusted enough to step into the first job, or the second job.
I am not saying that my faith takes all questions, self-doubt, etc but instead it gives me the peace of knowing that God does have a plan for my life, and He does care for me. I do not ask for praise for stepping out in faith, but I do ask for praise to God for allowing those steps to fall into place.
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Mother's Day
Mother's Day is often a hard day for many women. Maybe they have lost their mom, lost their child, have never had a child, or have pain from their mom. I am close to my mom, but learned through infertility that Mother's Day is hard. I didn't struggle with it as much as others do, but again that is something that is individualized. As a mom I see Mother's Day as another day to thank God for giving me Emma, for if He hadn't I wouldn't be a mommy.
God chose me to be her Mommy - how awesome is that. He trusts me to raise His child, to care for her, to love her as He loves her, and to be a difference in the world. I see that as such an amazing blessing, and never want to take that for granted. Emma changed my life, and changed me. I do not see the world like I used to, and I am not how I was.
Garth Brooks sings a song about his mama, and I cry every time I hear it. I have posted a link to the video below.
The other link is to Kenny Chesney's Wild Child song. One of my best friends sent this to me saying it was about me and Emma. Of course now every time I hear it I begin crying.
While I am so honored to be a mommy, I still find myself not posting a lot on Mother's Day because I know other women are aching and hurting wanting this same title. God has a plan for their life just as He did for me. We have to trust the plan. Proverbs 3:5 trust the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding.
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=garth+brooks+mama+song&qpvt=garth+brooks+mama+song&FORM=VDRE#view=detail&mid=C1FF8FCABA08B63F0A99C1FF8FCABA08B63F0A99
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=kenny+chesney+wild+child&qs=LS&sk=VI1&FORM=QBVR&pq=kenny%20chesney%20wi&sc=8-16&sp=2&qs=LS&sk=VI1#view=detail&mid=CFCB9542D7C35792216FCFCB9542D7C35792216F
Happy Mother's Day!
God chose me to be her Mommy - how awesome is that. He trusts me to raise His child, to care for her, to love her as He loves her, and to be a difference in the world. I see that as such an amazing blessing, and never want to take that for granted. Emma changed my life, and changed me. I do not see the world like I used to, and I am not how I was.
Garth Brooks sings a song about his mama, and I cry every time I hear it. I have posted a link to the video below.
The other link is to Kenny Chesney's Wild Child song. One of my best friends sent this to me saying it was about me and Emma. Of course now every time I hear it I begin crying.
While I am so honored to be a mommy, I still find myself not posting a lot on Mother's Day because I know other women are aching and hurting wanting this same title. God has a plan for their life just as He did for me. We have to trust the plan. Proverbs 3:5 trust the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding.
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=garth+brooks+mama+song&qpvt=garth+brooks+mama+song&FORM=VDRE#view=detail&mid=C1FF8FCABA08B63F0A99C1FF8FCABA08B63F0A99
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=kenny+chesney+wild+child&qs=LS&sk=VI1&FORM=QBVR&pq=kenny%20chesney%20wi&sc=8-16&sp=2&qs=LS&sk=VI1#view=detail&mid=CFCB9542D7C35792216FCFCB9542D7C35792216F
Happy Mother's Day!
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